One beautiful bright sunny day in Cadderock Pass I was hanging around the busy plaza reading my picture book and minding my own business when the sound of beautiful delicate bells chiming filled my headset... "Mail for me?! Now, who would be sending me anything?" I pondered excitedly as I quickly jumped up from my place of rest in the middle of the bridge and ran to the nearest mailbox. Upon peeking into that black abyss I soon discovered a small box had been left for me. It appeared most ordinary upon first sight, but as I removed it I noticed there were several small holes poked into the top and a wet spot on the bottom which momentarily distracted me from the faint growling sound emanating from within. As I caught a whiff of what was inside I knew it could only be one thing! With much haste I opened the box to find one of the world's most beautiful creations contained inside...
To get to the good part click below! (Satisfaction not guaranteed.)
...a Poochum!
Clearly it was sent from heaven, whatever dragon god existed up there must have heard my prayers after weeks of diligent knee time...
"DEAR RAPTOR JES- I MEAN... DRAGON JESUS! PLEASE SEND ME A POOCHUM OF MY VERY OWN TO LOVE AND SMOTHER LIKE I SEE ALL THESE OTHER UNDESERVING ADVENTURES HAVE. ALSO, IF IT COULD HAVE THAT CUTE CHEF'S HAT AND THAT FISH TIED TO ITS BUTT THAT WOULD BE REARRY COOR. BUT IF NOT THAT'S OK TOO I JUST WANT ONE. AND UM, IN RETURN YOU'LL GET MY UNDYING LOYALTY! YEAH! K THX."
Dragon Jesus sent forth to me my very own Poochum indeed! No he wasn't a fancy hat wearer... or even a nice pink color... but he was mine! And like the taskmassa I am I set forth to train him to be THE VERY BEST! I bestowed upon him a word of power for a name to ensure he would reach his full potential.
"You shall henceforth be known as KYRE, a name with much potential to become a valiant fighter and egotistical maniac." /sage nod
Yes, I wanted for nothing when Kyre and I were together... but alas, it would not last... How was I to know my sweet, sweet Poochum had an expiration date?? I thought they were like Spam... and would last forever and ever. /single tear
So with the death of my dear Kyre (6/20/2012 - 7/20/2012) I was forced to retract the oath of loyalty I pledged so recklessly to Dragon Jesus as I now know, clearly, he is a false god and swindled me like those backwater auctioners that never let me post more than five items at a time.
THE END... or so you thought!
K NOW IT'S THE END.
xoxo ~glynnia
THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO KILL AN ANGEL FOR A SECOND, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
ReplyDeleteYou know Poochum Kyre 'expiring' is one of the biggest conspiracies of the decade. Dragon Jesus knew Kyre's contract was up with Nexon and shipped him off to the Ringling Bros. & Barnum and Bailey's new DRAGONS attraction.
ReplyDeleteDRAGON JESUS CAN HAVE HIM. THAT SOME SKURY SHAT.
Damn nature yous skury!
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