Hello Kitty!

It's The Most Wonderful Day Of The Year
With the ice cream over flowing
And everyone telling you "Has another beer!"
It's The Most Wonderful Day Of The Year
It's the hap -happiest celebration of all
With those Jägerbomb greetings and lovely cake meetings
When Team Vashj come to call
It's the hap - happiest day of all!

That's right, it's the one and only Kitty's birthday! So ready your Red Solo Cup and prepare not to remember the rest of the night for the classiest (sometimes sassiest) celebration of all!

Click below for your party invitation!

The Way of The Warrior

            The day Kitty had anxiously been awaiting was coming up. The day where her strength as a warrior would be tested, her might and determination brought to bear. She would achieve great glory on this long anticipated day, and there would be cheers of joy, excitement, applause, and red solo cups. Oh yes, there would be red solo cups. Soon enough it would be Kitty’s birthday. But as excited as she was for the festivities she was even more nervous for the challenge she had to face. For this was no ordinary birthday. This was a day of transformation. She was leaving behind her pistols and her old shoot 'em up way of life in favor of joining the club. The Warrior Club.

            For you see, at least once in everyone’s lifetime a person will wonder what it’s like to take a behemoth two handed weapon and just smash people to bits with it while reveling in the glory of their brains on your heavy armor. Well Kitty didn't have quite the sadistic urges previously described, but she had to admit, ever since she had picked up the sword in favor of the guns, she had realized something about herself: she loved smashing and destroying recklessly.

            She loved being in the middle of it all, crushing things without worrying about taking a shot to the back or a knife to the side, heavy armor relieved her of these worries. For once in her life, Kitty could just let go and kill shit. “That’s how it should be” she thought to herself with a satisfied smile as she walked onto the training grounds. She steeled herself and put her mind into a mental void, focusing on nothing but her training. She had a lot of work to do if she was going to be accepted into the club.

            The membership of The Warrior’s Club was an extremely high honor, given to only those who could show the most ruthless, tactically sound, relentless, and resilient ability in battle. Her initiation challenge was to face off against a member of the club herself, and thereby grow the club’s strength by adding her own worthy might to that of its own. But she was nervous. Kitty had not studied the way of the warrior long, and wasn't sure she was capable of defeating her warrior opponent. And train as she might, she knew that there was always more to learn. “THAT’S A GUD IDEA!” Kitty thought to herself with a smile as she nut crunched her sparring partner, taking the opportunity to shoulder him onto his back. “I’ll ask the ladies! They’ve all toyed with the idea of being a warrior before!” She let her foot off her sparring partner's chest as she let him rise from the dirt groaning. “Time to go find me some answers!” She announced walking off without sparing a glance for the victim she called a sparring partner.

            First on her list she approached Sel, with her having been a warrior most of her life, surely she would know some of the answers. She found the Mordesh in her spooky lair she called a house, experimenting on her latest test subject. A waffle. Well she did make a giant toast monster, probably not the weirdest thing I’ve seen her do. She shrugged to herself. “Wutcha doin Sel?!” She walked up behind the Mordesh peeking around her shoulder. “Changing the world Kitty, one breakfast food at a time. Is everything ok?” Sel turned and looked at Kitty with her Cleopatra lifeless eyes. “You look like you’re worried." Kitty frowned. “Well yeah, I have this warrior thing coming up tomorrow for my burfday, and I’m still kind of new to being a warrior, I wanted to know if you had any advice.” Sel looked thoughtful for a moment and motioned for Kitty to sit down. “Well Kitty, you’ve come to the right humanoid, everyone knows I’m a warrior expert, what with me having been doing it for practically all eternities.” Kitty nodded in excitement. “You see Kitty, the key to being the best warrior you can be… is you run in and just kill shat. Go crazy and kill everyone. You gotta have the smurts of a honey badger.” Kitty nodded again waiting for more, but when none came she paused. “Well what happens if people start blowing you up? Or if they start blowing your team up 'cause you’re not there to protect them!” Sel looked at Kitty inquisitively. “Well then you get the hell out! What are you doing taking hits in the first place! The second someone hits you, you get out and run, to hell with your team you ain't no tank! You ain't supposed to give a shat!” Kitty nodded once more, listening to the advice, but she was disappointed inside, this would never be acceptable to the Warrior’s Club. “I’ll try Glynnia next” She thought to herself, waving goodbye to Sel and porting to Glynnia’s house.

            She found Glynnia in her study, observing her garden with peaceful eyes. She was penning information in her log book, most likely keeping inventory on all her shinnies. Kitty was one of the privileged few who Glynnia allowed to see her shiny collection. “Hey Glynnia! You mind helping me out with this question I have?” Glynnia looked up from her log and happily addressed Kitty with her peaceful eyes. “Sure Kitty! What's the question?” Kitty sat down on a nearby tree stump and explained her situation. Glynnia was silent for a moment. “I don’t talk about my warrior days much Kitty, Bheez says that’s when “The Crazy” was most prevalent in me, says I was full of ferocity. In fact I cant remember much of them at all…” Glynnia looked up at Kitty with almost feral eyes. “But I remember my rage, the last conscious words I can remember before going into every fight were GLYNNIA SMASH!” Glynnia was now squeezing her fists as if remembering a far off event from a different time. Kitty slowly backed out of the house wondering if she didn't look like something Glynnia might need to smash at this moment, usually Glynnia was calm, but no one ever knew for certain when she had one of her tantrums. Gah, that leaves Bheezem she thought to herself. “Whelp, why not, he is pretty good at killing people after all, maybe he’ll have something smart to say." Though she shook her head at however unlikely that might be, Pink Leader was not the most intelligent leader on the block.

            She found Pink Leader in The Breaking News Headquarters. After being cleared to pass through the security checkpoint she wandered upstairs to find him brooding on his command deck, probably about how best to destroy the Dominion once and for all. “HEY, PINK LEADER!” Kitty called up to the command deck with her hands on her hips. Bheezem shifted in his seat, rising and walking to the railing. “WHO DARES ADDRE-“ he paused as he saw Kitty. “Oh, hello Akitta. What can I do for you?” She sighed after he finished. “Look, I have this thing going on with the Warrior’s Club tomorrow and I need some advice on what it takes to be a great warrior.” She regretted her words immediately. Bheezem flourished back to his seat beckoning her forth to stand in front of him. “My good friend Kitty, you have come to the right place! For surely I know all there is about being a splendid warrior!” He paused for effect although she felt none. As he redirected his side glare from her back to the painting of the radian legionnaire on his wall he put his hand on his chest to match the painting, staring up with his chin out in a proud manner. “A good warrior, has valor. They are selfless, brave, heroic! Individuals who hold the line when no one else will. They are the backbone of our military, and the heroes who earn the praise and adoratio”- Kitty closed the door behind her. “Geesh that was a waste of time” She sighed. She didn’t know if the information she had gained today was going to be useful or not tomorrow, but it was the best she had. “Smurts, Ferocity, and Valor huh? Well then that’s how it's gotta be."

            The day was here, Kitty had managed with great difficulty to get SOME sleep, but she was still extremely nervous. She knew if she could just manage to get through trial, all the festivities of her birthday would await her, and she would go to sleep one happy, and potentially one happily drunk Kitty. But she had to earn her reward first, and so she steeled herself as her combatant stepped out into the ring. A giant Granok warrior, great. No visible weaknesses from what she could see, a huge reach because of his size, and even if she did land a hit on him he was made of fricken stone, how much could that possibly hurt. 

            She shook away her worries as she stepped into the ring, waiting for the judge to give the word to begin. “Smurts, Ferocity, Valor” She repeated the mantra to herself as she raised her blade and heard the signal to begin. The Granok stepped forward, obviously confident of his victory over Kitty. Well she would show him! She leaped forward and swung at his chest, forcing the Granok to block, even though this was not her target. She used the opening to attempt to hamstring the Granok, going for the smart attack over the vicious one. The Granok almost took the sword to his hamstring, but reacted quickly enough where he was able to shift and kick her squarely in the chest knocking her back a few yards and knocking her down. She got up fuming, the fact she had let herself be caught by that blow was embarrassing, and she’d make sure it wouldn’t happen again. She felt her rage build as she leapt forward once more, this time swinging for the Granok’s head in her ferocity. The Granok ducked the blow and took a slice at Kitty but she dodged in time. This time she quickly dashed past the Granok and pivoted, unleashing a string of furious blows meant to break his guard. This time the Granok pushed her back with a smile on his face, of course her strength would never be able to best this brute of a monster. 

             She backed up uncertain of herself, and whether or not she could accomplish the task at hand. She must be brave! She told herself. She must have valor in the face of defeat, she must show strength! It was time for her to find her own warrior way. She thought of the one place where any warrior like this Granok would hurt. She lunged forward once more, raising her sword in an overhand strike. The warrior, now cocky in his victory, blocked the strike and began to make another attack. That’s when Kitty slid on the ground and struck where every warrior no matter how strong was vulnerable. The Granok toppled over holding his hands to his stones. She smiled in triumph as she kicked his disarmed weapon away from him holding the blade, holding her own blade up in triumph. The judge stared at her quiet for a moment. Then simply shrugged and announced her entry into the Warrior Club. It was then, in the cheering of the crowd that Kitty realized her true strength in being a warrior. She may not have the smurts of a honey badger, the ferocity of a berserker, or the valor of a hero from the legends. But one thing she was damn sure she had was determination. 

            And today, that would be enough. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KITTY!!!

<3 Team Vashj