I can't help but feel I'm forgetting something. OH RIGHT. I guess it's Shirley's birthday too. Well thanks for nearly letting me forget, you good samaritan! Just for that you get a reward, but you have to click the link first!
/clears throat and coughs up a sprinkle
OH.
/sweeps it aside and begins to tell a grand story
It was an exciting night for the esteemed Doctor Shirley, as
she brooded in her rocket ship on her way to Nexus. Her so called “friends” had
gotten her a wonderful birthday present from Protostar Corporation. They had purchased
her a plot of land on this new planet called… Nexus. At first she had been
skeptical of the present, clearly seeing through the poorly veiled attempt at
shipping her off to a backwater planet, but then she had thought about the
possibilities of researching new knowledge for her creations and decided to go
along with it. Besides, the Intergalactic Health Board (and D.E.H.T.A., and
PETA, and the CDC) had been chasing after her with pitchforks and torches for a
while now. She wouldn’t be surprised if they hadn’t of somehow paid for the
gift that had been given to her. “Send me
away on exile to another planet will they?” she thought to herself as she
stuffed a piece of purple funfetti into her mouth. Just because she had missed
a few important cuts during surgery didn’t make her unqualified-her medical
license was perfectly legal. And just because she had bought it from Craaaaaazy
Glynnia’s didn’t make it any less valid… and just because she wasn’t Doctor
Vongranstein, didn’t mean his photo ID had to go to waste. She was a wonderful
doctor! Why, only twelve of the thirteen individuals admitted into her clinic
suffered any kind of surgical complications, and only eleven of the twelve had
died! How dare the IHB try to revoke her license. She turned to stare at her latest creation, a
living piece of french toast. Once, it had been a man, in particular it had
been a patient. Now, it was her faithful companion that would forever follow
her across the stars since Snuggles abandoned her to live in the Cadbury Egg
factory this last Easter. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride as it
tried to devour her while she was looking out the window of her vessel at the
now approaching planet Nexus.
Upon arriving at the plot of land that had been purchased on
nexus, she drug her chained french toast and directed the work flow of the ship
crew, instructing them where to set her luggage. She stepped onto her new plot
of land, it looked as full of life, happiness, and dreams as a plot of land
could.
She would have to change that.
She worked the land, toiling away for what felt like days… an
agonizing two hours later, she decided she was done with the garden and lawn
appeal. A tiny smile cracked her
leathered face as she took in the most beautiful sight she had seen, a dark
looming tower surrounded by wispy willows and sinister gates. She filled the
inside with even more scientifically implausible creations and a top-notch
security peep cam. Her layer boasted its own laboratory, brimming with magical ingredients
and concoctions that she would sell to the local dimwits to keep her real
operation afloat.
Her true life’s work took place in her recreated surgical
lab at the topmost chamber, where she essentially created her own tower of
terror (minus the nauseating 300 foot drop). After her unpacking was done, she
stood at the top of her tower and looked down her spiraling staircase, admiring
the extravagance of the vision she had made. She felt a trembling within her
and in the middle of the artificial night she had created, a dark sinister Mordesh
laugh sounded through the night, inspiring fear, uncertainty, and possibly
annoyance for her neighbors- just then the doorbell rang, but before she could
compose herself to answer the door was busted in and all of Team Vashj spilled
forth, destroying her front of house waiting room and tripping the alarm. She
spent the rest of the night listening to everyone karaoke Happy Birthday along
with their favorite show tunes in true tone deaf form while the alarm siren blared
in the background (and Glynnia found and ate the rest of the purple funfetti).
THE END.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIRLEY!!
~Team Vashj
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